There are many different types of men in the world. There are the hopeless romantics, who will whisk you away to watch tropical sunsets and hold the door open for you, when you get your taxi home. There are the players, who thrive when playing mind games and thinking that they have the advantage. There are the good guys, those men who would do anything for the girl they like and would never dream of putting their own needs before hers and then there are the losers, the men that you will fall hopelessly in love with, only to later realize that they will never change and you have invested your emotions in the wrong place. So how can you stop yourself from investing your time and heart in a loser? How can you spot one before it is too late?
Respect is a huge factor in relationships. If however he belittles you and puts you down, then you should know, this is a sign of disrespect. Times are changing and it is no longer the sole responsibility of the man, to pay things such as dinner and nights out.
If your man is always leaving his wallet at home or he is spending all his money on himself, and then expecting you to bail him out, then he is a loser. We all have dreams and aspirations and our partners are the people who are meant to support those goals, irrelevant to what they are. A partner should be someone who makes you feel as though you could achieve anything.
Unsupportive men are usually the type who would rather not try than fail, and this makes them losers by default.
There is nothing wrong with your man wanting you to himself. In fact a little bit of jealousy can be healthy as it shows that you both care about each other. However if that jealousy is stopping you from being able to talk to people and see your friends, then it is a problem. A good man will do everything he can to please his woman.
They will notice the type of mud on your car, question why you shop certain places, and question why you called a friend, why the friend called you, and so forth. Some losers follow you to the grocery, then later ask if you've been there in an attempt to catch you in a lie.
High-tech losers may encourage you to make "private" calls to friends from their residence, calls that are being secretly taped for later reference. They may begin to tell you what to wear, what to listen to in music, and how to behave in public.
Why Women Date Losers
Eventually, they tell you that you can not talk to certain friends or acquaintances, go certain places, or talk about certain issues in public. If no date is present on Friday night - "The Loser" will inform you that they will call you that night - sometime.
That effectively keeps you home, awaiting the call, fearing the verbal abuse and questions you might receive if you weren't home for the call. This technique allows "The Loser" to do what they want socially, at the same time controlling your behavior from a distance or a local bar.
Public Embarrassment In an effort to keep you under control while in public, "The Loser" will lash out at you, call you names, or say cruel or embarrassing things about you in private or in front of people. When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later.
Think, that dating loser signs final, sorry, but
If you stay with "The Loser" too long, you'll soon find yourself politely smiling, saying nothing, and holding on to their arm when in public.
You'll also find yourself walking with your head down, fearful of seeing a friend who might speak to you and create an angry reaction in "The Loser". It's Never Enough "The Loser" convinces you that you are never quite good enough. You don't say "I love you" enough, you don't stand close enough, you don't do enough for them after all their sacrifices, and your behavior always falls short of what is expected.
This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence. After months of this technique, they begin telling you how lucky you are to have them - somebody who tolerates someone so inadequate and worthless as you. Entitlement "The Loser" has a tremendous sense of entitlement, the attitude that they have a perfectly logical right to do whatever they desire.
If cut off in traffic, "The Loser" feels they have the right to run the other driver off the road, assault them, and endanger the lives of other drivers with their temper tantrum. Keep in mind, this same sense of entitlement will be used against you. If you disobey their desires or demands, or violate one of their rules, they feel they are entitled to punish you in any manner they see fit. They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal.
They will protest. The mention of your family members or friends will spark an angry response from them - eventually placing you in the situation where you stop talking about those you care about, even your own family members.
Bad Stories People often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves.
It's the old story about giving a person enough rope and they'll hang themselves. The stories a person tells informs us of how they see themselves, what they think is interesting, and what they think will impress you. A humorous individual will tell funny stories on himself. They may tell you about past relationships and in every case, they assure you that they were treated horribly despite how wonderful they were to that person. They brag about their temper and outbursts because they don't see anything wrong with violence and actually take pride in the "I don't take nothing from nobody" attitude.
People define themselves with their stories, much like a culture is described by it's folklore and legends. Listen to these stories - they tell you how you will eventually be treated and what's coming your way.
The Waitress Test It's been said that when dating, the way an individual treats a waitress or other neutral person of the opposite sex is the way they will treat you in six months. During the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship, you will be treated like a king or queen. However, during that time "The Loser" has not forgotten how he or she basically feels about the opposite sex. Waitresses, clerks, or other neutral individuals will be treated badly. If they are cheap - you'll never receive anything once the honeymoon is over.
If they whine, complain, criticize, and torment - that's how they'll treat you in six months.
Feb 27, 25 Signs You Are Dating A Loser. 1. He cut his drug habit back to just pot, meth and occasionally, sniffing paint. [insert pot smoker image] 2. His resume includes his high score from "Call of. Warning Signs You're Dating a Loser. Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D., Psychologist. Comment (September 27, ) This article was published to the Internet several years ago and was originally written to help identify "Losers" in relationships. The e-mail feedback I have received on the article has been tremendous. It's clear the article is a way of. 8 Warning Signs You Are Dating A Loser. Are you dating a loser? Find out right away! #1. He will not pay bills. He doesn't pay for dinner. You are the one who pays for movies because he constantly forgets his wallet. He has no gas or gas money when taking you out. He asks if you have coupons. Try Quizzes People Are Talking About!
A mentally healthy person is consistent, they treat almost all people the same way all the time. If you find yourself dating a man who treats you like a queen and other females like dirt - hit the road.
Dating loser signs
The Reputation As mentioned, mentally healthy individuals are consistent in their personality and their behavior. If you ask ten people about a new restaurant - five say it's wonderful and five say it's a hog pit - you clearly understand that there's some risk involved in eating there. They may tell you stories where other's have called them crazy or suggested that they receive professional help.
Pay attention to the reputation. Reputation is the public perception of an individual's behavior. If the reputation has two sides, good and bad, your risk is high.
You will be dealing with the bad side once the honeymoon is over in the relationship. With severe behavior problems, "The Loser" will be found to have almost no friends, just acquaintances. Emotionally healthy and moral individuals will not tolerate friendships with losers that treat others so badly.
If you find yourself disliking the friends of "The Loser", it's because they operate the same way he or she does and you can see it in them. You will quickly find yourself "walking on eggshells" in their presence - fearful to bring up topics, fearful to mention that you spoke to or saw a friend, and fearful to question or criticize the behavior of "The Loser". Instead of experiencing the warmth and comfort of love, you will be constantly on edge, tense when talking to others they might say something that you'll have to explain laterand fearful that you'll see someone you'll have to greet in public.
Dates and times together will be more comfortable and less threatening when totally alone - exactly what "The Loser" wants - no interference with their control or dominance. As the relationship continues and you begin to question what you are feeling or seeing in their behavior, you will be told that your feelings and opinions don't make sense, they're silly, and that you are emotionally disturbed to even think of such things.
They Make You "Crazy" "The Loser" operates in such a damaging way that you find yourself doing "crazy" things in self-defense. You become paranoid as well - being careful what you wear and say. Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers.
Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation.
In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly. While we think we are "going crazy" - it's important to remember that there is no such thing as "normal behavior" in a combat situation. Rest assured that your behavior will return to normal if you detach from "The Loser" before permanent psychological damage is done.
There are more severe if not dangerous versions of "The Loser" that have been identified over the years. If you are involved in a relationship with one of these versions, you may require professional and legal assistance to save yourself.
Similar. dating loser signs you the storyteller
Physical Abuser Physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving - shoving, pushing, forcing, etc. That quickly moves into verbal threats with physical gestures - the finger in the face, clinched fist in the face, and voiced physical threats such as "You make me want to break your face!
Getting away from physical abusers often requires the assistance of family, law enforcement agencies, or local abuse agencies. Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault.
If the female loser is bruised in the process of self-protection, as when physically restraining her from hitting, those bruises are then "displayed" to others as evidence of what a bad person the partner is and how abusive they have been in the relationship. Psychotic Losers There are losers that are severely ill in a psychiatric sense - the movie description of the "Fatal Attraction". They may fake terminal illness, pregnancy, or disease. They intimidate and frighten you with comments such as "I can have anyone killed If you try to end the relationship, they react violently and give you the impression that you, your friends, or your family are in serious danger.
People often then remain in the abusive and controlling relationship due to fear of harm to their family or their reputation. While such fears are unrealistic as "The Loser" is only interested in controlling you, those fears feel very real when combined with the other characteristics of "The Loser".
Psychotic or psychiatrically ill losers may also stalk, follow, or harass you. They may threaten physical violence, show weapons, or threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave them.
Quite dating loser signs think, that
If you try to date others, they may follow you or threaten your new date. Your new date may be subjected to phone harassment, vandalism, threats, and even physical assaults.
If you are recently divorced, separated, or recently ended another relationship, "The Loser" may be intimidating toward your ex-partner, fearing you might return if the other partner is not "scared off".
Any man who can easily talk badly about his mom or disrespect her will never have respect for you or any other woman in his life. Does he burp loudly at a fancy restaurant? Is opening the door for you something he seems to think is outdated and unrealistic?
Does he talk during a movie or answer his cell phone in the library? First of all, you should never have to put in the effort to please a man he should be pleasing you.
Seriously, that kind of negative outlook will have a really bad impact on your relationship and his future endeavors. The only reason a man would ever talk badly about you or belittle you to someone else is for his own ego boost. The kind of man who gets his own personal gratification by belittling you is not a man.
Something is. dating loser signs opinion you are
If your man is being a jerk to his friends either in front of them or behind their back, then you can already see what kind of man he is. In other words, his plans are always more important than yours, and he will do whatever he can to make sure you remember that. This guy is not only a controlling ass, but most certainly a loser. You have to get rid of him quick! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. It most certainly does not make you the bread winner.
Granted, if no other job was available at that given moment, then I would take it without hesitations. One must work. But whilst in that job, I would never even dream of dating someone.
For the simple reason that I would not be able to offer her anything at all. It would be unfair of me to put her through that. This line aside, I like the way you write and I agree with everything else.
It was meant to be a quirky joke, not a serious statement or feminist opinion.
Great article. I just read this to make sure I made the right decision dumping the guy I was dating for the past couple of months. I definitely did! I would always ask about his day and love hearing about stuff going on in his life, but he never reciprocated.
I bookmarked this. Your article has a lot of valid points. I indirectly knew this woman who married this man who is a drug addict, lived in a homeless shelter, and was jobless at the time.
One can come to the conclusion that the only reason he married her was so he could better his situation. During their marriage, he was horrible to her.
He abused her emotionally and physically. He was unable to contribute to their household financially which made him a freeloader as well. As soon as he met somebody else, he began to cheat and left her.