Has there ever been a time in your adult life where a potential partner turned you away because you were too young or too old for them? In many ways, an age difference can make the mystery of love all the more elusive in the best of ways. We asked a group of men what they think about age differences in relationships, and their answers were fascinating. It seems that, for many men, love really knows no limits and age is indeed just a number Except, of course, for when it isn't. Here's what men say they really think about age differences in relationships and dating older or younger women.
But the space that we struggled with was understanding and absorbing each other physically. I think it's because our bodies were in different places and our physical needs had changed. But emotionally and mentally, I was sure there was no one out there who could complete me so fully.
I'd have been a fool to let her walk away just because more than a decade separated us.
In fact, being further apart in age gave us more in common. We got along great, but in my circle of friends, I could tell that they didn't approve of the younger women because they saw them as needy and attention-seeking.
With the older women, my friends felt a mixture of intimidation and responsibility to be polite. I know it shouldn't come down to what your friends think, but it always surprised me how it was the people outside the relationship that could affect what was happening on the inside.
I thought it could work out, but when push came to shove, we just didn't want the same things at the same time. I was ready to settle down and start a family; she was just peaking at the height of her twenties and wanted to be out and about with friends. I think that's the only time age held me back in a relationship.
Apologise, but, does age difference matter in dating remarkable
Sign in. Join YourTango Experts. He came to the realization that it actually did bother him to think of never having kids. Then he surprised me just a tiny bit when he said that this made him really think about everything.
He said that he realized that he was only thinking of the hear and now. OK, well, there are two possible scenarios here. It can totally change the picture. To an older woman bent on finding a younger man, it may be hard for her to believe that he is unsuccessful with women.
In fact, that 37 year old was sure he could have any woman he wanted, which of course was just not even close to being true. She wanted him, so of course she would think that every woman wanted him. You can deny that all you want but it is the solid truth. I was there. Then one day I noticed that younger women were now responding to me, and that abruptly ended my days of dating older women.
I know many men that feel that way. Then there are the guys that just had such horrible experiences with younger women, and such great experiences with older women that they are even convinced that they prefer older women. Well of course they do, and odds are that will last just as long as it takes him to learn how to attract younger women and eventually that is where he will end up.
Even with regards to race. Had a friend in the navy that was quite skinny when he got orders to Japan. He spent several years there. Yet when he got back, for a good year, he swore he would never marry a white woman. He based this on his pre-Japan experiences with white women, and the awesome way Japanese girls had responded to him.
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He swore that he would marry an Asian girl. Yeah, that lasted as long as it took the right white girl to respond to himand now they are married and have 3 kids. Now, let me talk about a couple of the bad guys. First, let me go back to that 37 year old. I had dated her right before my friend. I was Wow was it ever on my mind that she was 9 years older.
Christian Dating Age Gap: 4 Tips About Dating/Marrying Someone Older or Younger
But at the same time, she was literally the sexiest woman I had ever been withand we had sex like maniacs. Refreshing, and fun, but I had already talked to her about kids.
She had a 15 year old daughter and swore that she was done. Said one was enough. Had zero desire for more and had had many opportunities to have more had she wanted them. So one day, she decides we needed to talk. What were we doingwhat was it all about, where did I see it going. Well, I was honest with herit was never going to the alter.
We lasted 3 more weeks.
I was in the Navy and literally knew hundreds of 20 to 35 year old men, very very well. Every last one of them thought I was stupid to the core for being honest with her. They all thought that I should have led her ontold her what she wanted to hear, or simply play dumb about it. Occasionally that does happen, but more often than not, the guy will leave.
I give a big hug to all women who have had this experience. I hope you eventually find your Prince Charmingor at least a decent guy who loves you.
Dec 26, Not only does society judge dating outside our ages, but it also expects that we all age and develop at the same rate. Furthermore, it is expected that with age comes maturity, which isn't true.
If he is ten years younger than youfrom his perspective, you will always be ten years olderhuge emphasis on older. If he is ten years olderno matter how old you get, you are a hotty that is ten years younger. I am now Heck, when I was 32 I had a 42 year old hit on me.
Yeah, the old hag is not a young hotty. Of course if the 60 year old version of her self walked up to me, then it would be right back to 32 and OK, back to the bad guys. Anyway, many many men I know have zero problem with short term relationships.
In fact, truth be told, feminism in this regard was the greatest gift mankind ever received. How did they do this? By holding them accountable for acting like scoundrels. Guys too got reputations. That is often denied, and there is a spark of truth to the mythyes it might have been overlooked if it was known that, for instance, a guy had lost his virginity to an older woman, or had one or two sexual relationshipsbut if a man had acted anywhere near as disgusting as many young men do these days, he would never find a wife in his area.
Often men simply hid the extent of their debauchery.
Mar 16, "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain. The question is simple, as life expectancy goes up and people take better and better care of themselves, do traditional notions of appropriate age differences in relationships matter? Jun 23, Does Age Really Matter in Relationships? Generally, it doesn't. A relationship depends on the understanding and connection between two individuals, regardless of their age. But there are also cases where the difference in the age is more than 15 to 20 years, or where the female partner is older than the male. Apr 19, Mind the gap - does age difference in relationships matter? April 19, pm EDT. Gery Karantzas, Deakin University. Author. Gery Karantzas.
But the truth is also that most men behaved to protect their reputations. Women wanted good guys, so men tried their best to be good guys. Women gave up that power a long time ago.
OK, so the point I have been trying to get to is simplejust like when you were 16men will tell you anything to get into your pants.
WOW does this thing ever work. It is different form the classic negging but the result is the same. See, to you the natural order is that he would be like the rest of the droolers and desperately want to get in your pants.
OK, rest assured, he really is one of those droolers, and he is going to rave to one of his buddies just how freakin awesome you arebut with you, he plays it cool. Hook line and sinker!
This can even work on older women. The point is that men will play games to get into your pants, and that especially goes for hot older women, because with you, often that really is all they wantin fact that is what it is the majority of the time. But heyrelaxyou can believe him when he says he prefers older women. Put off her desire for something more seriousespecially marriage.
Milk that cow until it runs dry. Then there are the guys that like the fact that older women will spend money on them. Some are very smooth about it. OK, so the point is, Oprah, and all the rest of popular culture is telling you lies. Well, see, they think that the natural order of man can be altered by just making it happen. They tell you to be open to dating younger men because younger men want you.
Oct 14, So despite all the unspoken rules, does age matter in a relationship? We spoke to a variety of relationship experts to get to the bottom of this "age-old" dating conundrum and here's what we found: The age of your brain matters. Sometimes a chemical attraction really is just that: chemical. Does age difference in relationships matter? Sometimes, the age difference between two lovers makes no difference. But almost all the time, age difference can play a big role in the success of a relationship. If you're dating someone who's several years older or younger than you, here are a few things you need to give a thought about. When It Comes To Dating, Do Age Differences Matter? A recent study lends insight into age differences in romantic relationships. Posted Aug 19,
Well, to be honest, a very small percentage actually do want older women. But you are playing the lottery when you bank on that. The majority are pretendersthe vast majority. Marriage and relationships are always a risk but you are simply making the odds less and less in your favor when you go for younger men.
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But hey, maybe you will be that rare lady that wins the lottery. This is the guy who is not Christian so he has no morality problems with divorce. So he is actually willing to marry you. I hope some of this helps. If you have a more specific scenario you want to run by me, I will try to decipher it for you. Hey hi i m 19 yrs I m in love with a guy who is 7 years older than me but i dnt know how to confess it infront of my parents Does age difference really affect love.
A lot of these differences can happen between people of the same age. My younger boyfriend him 25, me 36 and I share a deep emotional connection I never had with any man my age.
Our relationship broke after six years, because of issues with his family which can happen at any age, as well. I always had an old head on young shoulders, due to disability and being academically bright I went to Cambridge and much preferred the company of adults.
Spent most of my teens in hospital, so finding myself never-been-kissed at nineteen I knew I needed someone older, someone patient and kind who knew what he was doing. Your first time should be special after all. So for me it was totally worth it, gave me enormous confidence. None of that oh dear is he going to grow up malarkey - what you see is what you get. But there are definitely downers.
Being that bit more ancient myself now, I can totally see how someone younger could be manipulated and even abused. Could I pull a 20 year old? Would that be fair? Not really. He is a really nice geniune guy and understanding. So I really am fond of him he is in his mid 30s and I am in my mid 20s, we have a thirteen year age gap. I have always been told I have a old soul but I was still a little skeptical at first but I got over it for we had so many things in common.
Everything was going swell until we started getting to know eachother a little more through text messages, his last gf was a barely a adult and left him to go to college, which I called him out for then he told me he was jobless and living with his parents.
He finally told me the truth a couple of weeks ago and That he could possibly go to prison for along time for selling drugs as in cocaine, for several counts This happen mid last year or before. This is his first criminal charge, he told me after losing his gf, he was depressed then as well with not accomplishing alot in his life. He was also a drug addict at that time. I know its crazy, but Jesus Christ helps everyone, and I want to do the same. I have a big heart and will try not to judge and help anyone who needs some kindness from a person who loves giving it.
Neither of us discriminate for our previous exes were different races. And speaking of exes, he is different from them for he is non-judgemental, I completely rant about anything and speak my full mind along with my heart for I am a very bold person and he completely accepts it, this is a first for my exes hated my boldness, saying I had to much attitude and sassiness. He has no kids and is a loner.
Which I understand for I am without children and have a small group of friends too. He sent me a pic previously and he is bigger probably by 30 or more pounds and has a fair amount of gray hair.
Does age difference matter in dating
He as well said he was staying away from narcotics and such. This I was happy to hear for I would rather have a guy who gives into the pleasures of food then drugs, so his weight is understandable. I have recently been going back to school to magor in pyschology and trying to get my independence and out from under my mom. Speaking of her, she dissaproves saying he has nothing to offer me and is too old for I need someone more stable.
He is just so accepting,kind and knows so much about the world its very attractive to me. He understands this as well and thinks, I am very special for my heart is beautiful I really adore him and it makes me sick to think about him going to jail for we are becoming such great friends and could be more.
I guess what I am asking is he too far gone, could he change for the better? My exes were all around my age and were very disrespectful and cheaters. I could tell him anything, I feel so comfortable with him, its like I am at peace finally. For before talking to him I was very dismissive and resentful with men for my ex broke my heart badly but he changed that. He knows how I feel about his problems and that I am trying to see his side of the story, I know he is a good person thats been dealt with a bad card I have accepted him for some men share my beliefs, have jobs, houses, cars and they still were disrespectful to me.
He is an remarkable man. He gets what could happen could be the worst, while I have hope and faith.
And its actually kinda funny for alot of men tell me that. Please help me, for I give great advice to others but when it comes to myself I am unreachable, I always follow my heart and I know where that gets me I am not rushing into anything for it takes years for a relationship to work and then to be lovers and more. And, that is why when we start developing feelings for people outside of our age brackets, we think our feelings are wrong.
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We often put up walls and flee for the mountains, but before shutting the door on the chance at love, think about your potential lover's maturity level. If you both are on the same level of maturity, don't let the attached age number cloud your decision. Maybe you met an older lover when you were still immature. Each person we meet has a purpose in our life. Maybe this person isn't meant for you during your years of evolution, but you'll come back to each other when you each hold the same mindset.
Or, maybe this person was in your life at the wrong time to teach you something.
Whatever the case, it may have happened for a reason. Maybe he's 30 and you are 20, but he is just as confused about his life as you are about yours. I don't see why that number should stop the blossoming between two lovebirds.