The following post is a guest post from Beth, who has been living in India for years. I had only been on my first date in India for about 30 minutes, and already I was almost in tears and wanted to go home! It was a nightmare! A friend introduced to me to a nice looking Indian guy who asked me for my number. I thought, why not?
When a relationship is going well, at some point you may decide to introduce your significant other to your parents. But how soon is too soon for meeting the parents? Are there things you can do to make sure the meeting goes well?
Are there things your significant other can do? There are however, a few things to consider:. If you are not officially in a relationship with the person then an introduction to the parents could be detrimental in two ways:. If you want to keep things casual then parental introductions are saying the opposite of that. And if you want to get more serious, a parental introduction is putting the cart before the horse.
Give the relationship time to become a relationship first. If you are in a relationship then deciding when to introduce your significant other to your parents depends on both the intentions and seriousness of the relationship and the casualness of your parents. My parents are rather serious. If I bring someone home to meet them they will assume I am serious about the person.
Knowing this, I would only introduce someone to my parents if the relationship was very serious. On the contrary, I have been in relationships with people whose parents are a lot more casual. I met their parents when the relationship was still quite new or casual however an invitation to meet my parents was not extended. When I explained that I only introduce boyfriends to my parents when the relationship is very serious, it sometimes offended the person. Let me invite him over and feed him, like, chicken and dumplings.
Communicating with your partner is key. Transparency about what it means to meet or not meet your parents is vital to avoid unnecessary negative assumptions. Will they love your significant other too much upon meeting them?
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If a guy was particularly handsome, smart or charismatic she would rave about him. In the beginning it would be great that she took such interest in my love interest.
But if or rather when the relationship went sour I felt an extra loss. The loss was even more heightened if my brother had befriended him as a basketball buddy.
How much are you like your parents? Do you project similar energy and viewpoints or is there a stark contrast between you and them? If there is a stark contrast you might need more time to solidify your relationship before introducing your parents.
In dating there is a buy-in period. All of the time spent together is time spent subconsciously evaluating your partner. Do you like them? Do you feel good when you are with them? Here are a few tips to make sure it goes well:. Good luck and I hope these are helpful tips!
I think it really depends on so many factors. For example, if you are in high school then you might need to meet the parents super early for permission to even date.
Same goes for if you are in a very traditional religious family. Is this a casual kick-it boyfriend, or a serious boyfriend? For many people 3 months is the amount of time needed to know if you really like someone or not. With regards to meeting his parents ask yourself a few things: Do you feel ready to meet them?
If not, why not? Also, ask your boyfriend if most of his girlfriends typically meet his parents. The same definitely goes for Muslim families. It makes me feel ashamed, but this is really a problem. Indian men to then to think that foreign caucasian girls are easy of course not everyone is like that. There are a lot of factors to that. Cultural difference, media, porn, etc. There would be many cultural differences that both the parties will need to get used to and understand.
Not many Indian guys will date any girl for like years before getting married. The concept of dating is not that prevalent over here. So expect a marriage proposal sometime within 6 months to a year, if the guy is serious about you and sees a future together with you. I just cant believe miss jones, to be in goa you left your nursing career?
I Feel really ashamed as an Indian to read such a shameless act committed by my own countryman.
Anyway, hope that no one else encounter such incidents in the future. You talk like a saint. I know lots of things about USA and how they treat girls. Can I show you?
Indian men and women are attractive enough and we should be that to each other. As a nation that is continuously insulted by western countries and similar states as a nation of poverty-stricken savages or an ugly group of people who want their white women, the least we can do is grow some self-respect, marry our own kind and work towards developing our own state with heads held high.
I can relateI have some friends who are crazy about these stuffs so they just ignores Black or Brown girls over Whites,which I presume is Racism. I have some Foreign friends so I know how much is it to live in India as a Foreignerthere are some morons with their annoying behaviour and you may have already seen this across Social medias,how they are crazy about getting them but there are also nice people.
Whether many they accept it or not they consider their child their property and a way to establish newer ties in their society (samaj) through arranged marriage. In their old age, their social status and social life hinges on the in-laws. Even if.
Found this article because my boyfriend lives in the US is Indian, and his family is all still in India. He is preparing to let them know I American exist, and I was just looking into what to expect. The story that a man took out 3 condoms in parking lot appears fake and over exaggerated for the following reasons.
Of course it appears funny and is useful in forcing people to read further. He parked the car at a restaurant and not outside a hotel so why would he show condoms suddenly.
It is almost impossible to have sex in parking lot of any Indian restaurant. This idea has been picked directly from Hollywood movies 3. As an Indian man binge watching American shows and even my friends have been watching American shows from a long time but desperate housewives or Sex in the city are not quite popular among Indian men.
So that mention also points out to the some fakeness. Before starting the story it is good to sort out the facts right. Foreign readers who are the intended audience might believe coz they are not aware. Your first thought is to assume the woman telling this story is a liar and exaggerator interesting!
Wow, some very interesting anti - India propaganda there, as usual! I am Indianlive now in Kolkatabut was born and brought up in Berlin, Germany.
Berlin is an international city, and I have seen GermanBritishAmerican women all do their thing, living it up. I am also aware of how often white women become victims of date-rape and gang-rapecourtesy their oh-so-civilised white boyfriends.
Indian men to then to think that foreign caucasian girls are easy (of course not everyone is like that). There are a lot of factors to that. Cultural difference, media, porn, etc. Girls need to maintain a level of caution when dating Indian men, but also don't shun them as Indian guys can be the nicest persons you would ever meet. Dating Indian Women - Possibilities & Challenges. Dating Indian women remain one of the great unsolved mysteries of the world! If you are an Indian man or just someone that fancies an Indian woman, you have a treacherous path ahead of you if you are blind to India's cultural background, societal pressures, and the chaos caused by the confluence of age-old traditions and modern fads. Her parents have disapproved of our relationship from the get-go and have attempted to match her with Indian men. She has rejected all prospects of course but it's an unneeded stressor for her. They have recently begun to dial that down however and have opted for the "you do what you want but he will never be our son because he is not one of us.
And then ,suddenlywhen you all come to India, you all become virtuous, decentself-respecting ladies! Who do you think you are fooling? NO ONE. And I have also been to the United Arab Emirates, where I have seen white women tourists get into cars with complete strangers- rich sheiks by the way, in order to sell sex for money.
Where was their sense of self-respect then? Who likes hypocrites? We ,the intelligent, widely travelled population of India have called your bluff long ago. If any Indian men are reading this, my advice to you is- avoid white women like the plague. No wonder thousands of Americans who want to have a decent family come to south-east Asia to find brides!
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They have had enough of your double standards too. A tbousand apoplogies for the vile garbage in the above comment that was made in my name by an arsehole who was using my computer! Delete this piece of trash immediately-you are so right about Indians.
I am very sorry for the hurt caused by this extreme racist bullshit this motherfucker spewed out from MY computer. Delete it immediately! Once again, extremely sorry for the hurt this caused.
Honestly - the traditional Asian parent won't want their offsprings to date at all if you know what I mean. Ideally, Asian parents, want their kids to prioritize academical and professional achievement above everything else. I am from South Asian. Despite the relative conservatism of Indian dating, According to a thread on dating in different countries, dating in the Philippines resembles traditional courtship. which means that many non-expat singles still live with their parents, making dating middleburyfloralvt.com: Sara Hendricks. Jul 11, Days before my graduation some 25 years ago, I asked my Indian-American parents when they planned to arrive for the big event. To my great shock, my father said he and my mother weren't going to.
My comment below will tell you how I really feel about your topic. I was shocked when I came back to India to see how western women are treated. Never about girlfriends or whether they are married or not. This immediately signals disinterest in matters of romance or sex.
Losers read r/indianpeoplefacebook
See the reaction. If he becomes uncomfortable, you know what he really wants.
Oct 08, Hopefully, when your parents see that you are committed to the person you love and the life you have chosen, they, like Tevye in Fiddler and Robert . Imagine having parents that have this kind of mindset. It's honestly so fucking exhausting having to argue with them about this issue. I am a 16 year old female and it honestly hurts me that my own dad, someone whom I love and trust, thinks that it's women's fault that they get sexually harassed/raped. Don't introduce someone you are casually dating to your parents. I was recently watching season 1 of Master of None and Dev was explaining how in Indian families you don't just introduce everyone you are dating to your parents like you do in white families. The same definitely goes for Muslim families.
These three initial tests usually give a good idea of who you are dealing with. Guys who react very positively to this approach make for good friends you can really hang out with and count on. In that case, good luck. But, sad to sayso many of the white women I have met have had horrible tales to tell.
Anyway, great post! It happens with Indian girls too most of the times. I blame Western Media for portraying White Women as easy! Also I know White women tend to racially profile Indian men or any non white men! They just want to date an Indian guy if they ever want to date one to experience culture!
From the beginning they have made their mind to not go into serious relationship with the Indian Guy and use the companionship as just sort of exploring culture and not the person! The girl and the guy date or get to know each other for the first few months before committing to each others lives and families and getting married. The entitlement some women display.
I am agreed with the writernot all but most of Indian men are still have this primitive instinct of taking women for granted be it a Indian girl or any foreigner. Indians have successful marriages and low divorce rates. Fair article. Even me being an Indian male and dating western women here in Bangkok, I have heard similar stories from them. I think a major problem is, Indians in India are not used to Non Indians be it western,middle eastern or African and a huge assumption is anyone out of India would be open minded as Indians are terribly conservative.
Now with the above situations in place it is expected people to just freak out as they are not aware of the expectations so sometimes they over do it. For ex, my first date with a white person in Bangkok.
Reddit indian parents dating
We broke the ice eventually and we stayed together for a couple of years. Was he serious? For example, Goa is much more modern than Delhi so you can get away with shorts and tank tops in Goa. However, if you wear such things in Delhi you will attract the wrong sort of attention. Realize that our idea of friendliness might be their idea of flirtation.
Not long ago I went shopping with my Indian boyfriend and was chatting with the clerk that helped me. My boyfriend said he thought I was being flirtatious while I just thought I was being nice and polite. Ask if they have a car. Car ownership is not as prevalent in India so you may need to take public transportation. Realize that they may think we are less inhibited or easier than Indian women. It does not take much to encourage them.
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Even sharing your phone number might make them think you are interested in more than just a date. Be safe. This applies to dating in America as well, but it is even more important in India, where a white woman is viewed as a prize.
Go to a public place and pay attention to where you are. Most Indian young men live with their parents until they get married. Even then, their new wife often moves in to the household rather than them getting their own place. So it is expected that his mom will worry about him and call him to make sure he is okay and behaving himself. Be afraid to offer to help pay the bill. We make a lot more than most of them do. Be surprised by chivalry. Guys still open doors and bring over flowers. Expect to be introduced to their family any time soon.
Be shocked if people stare at the two of you a lot. Interracial couple are not common in India. Beth and her boyfriend, Kirti, living it up at the Grub Fest in Delhi I am lucky to have beaten the odds and to have found a great boyfriend in India, but it did take some effort. I will never give away, trade or sell your email address. You can unsubscribe at any time. About the Author: Rachel Jones.
Rachel Jones left a career in nursing and lived on the beaches of Goa, India for the five years. Her blog, Hippie in Heels, like its name, is a contradiction combining off-beat adventurous places with glamorous and bespoke travel.
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Sailaja December 15, at am - Reply. Rachel Jones December 15, at pm - Reply. And yes, these stereotypes do exist from both sides.