The dating world has never been an easy and comfortable place. There have always been hidden rules and etiquette that make us look back and wonder if we did everything correctly. To put it simply, dating is hard. Well this one is pretty standard in this day and age. Although times were different then, there was still etiquette for a first date when it came to the bar. A article in Click-Photo Parade magazine gave helpful advice to single women of the times. Drinking may make some girls seem clever, but most get silly.
But such rules could go too far. It was evident to many even then - social critics of the time popularly mocked the more ridiculous elements of Victorian society.
The magazine "Punch" published cartoons of farcical social scenes, and the satirist W. Gilbert penned humorous lyrics to comic operas skewering silly elements of the culture.
We'll take a glimpse into some of the rules that seem absurd to us today. Let us start with a proper invitation: We kindly request the pleasure of your company today to take part in an exploration of Victorian etiquette.
Start the Countdown. Victorians don't have the best reputation when it comes to things like fun, joy and spontaneity.
ENTPs and ENTJs, on the other hand, will debate a 'feelings' situation to death specifically, digging through all the facts and iterations leaving you feeling bamboozled and bemused. Either way, you probably will end up feeling as though your emotions are not recognized or reciprocated. I'm not saying that Rationals won't support you if you need a shoulder to cry on.
Pity, ridiculous dating rules the phrase removed
We look for partners with thick skins and tremendous self control. Rationals are deeply autonomous people - they might love your company, but they will never need you in a codependent, all-consuming, clingy type of way. We have our passions in life and we expect you to have yours. We feel suffocated by less independent types who insist that couples should do every little thing together.
This is a hard lesson for 'all-in' types to learn, but Rationals always come with baggage in the form of outside commitments. Trust that your partner is not pulling away from you.
Necessary phrase... ridiculous dating rules speaking
They just need to have a few projects they can excel at on their own. Rationals are the least likely type to remember anniversaries, birthdays and other important milestones, and they're even less likely to present you with a meaningful gift. INTPs in particular are inconsistent in their preparations for significant events and may end up snatching an emergency gift from Walmart on the way home.
If you're a type that likes surprise getaway weekends Artisans or thoughtful declarations of affection Idealiststhen you're going to be seriously disappointed the next time an important date rolls around. On the plus side, Rationals do tend to be the most steadfast of partners.
You might not get a luxury city break for your anniversary, but at least you'll get an anniversary. Rationals take extra care to monitor the quality of their relationships.
In fact, you'll often find them theorizing about the status of the relationship, and how they can make the necessary adjustments to keep the relationship happy and healthy. If any flaw is detected, the Rational will fix it or they will delete your phone number. They won't make a show of it.
Congratulate, your ridiculous dating rules question how regard?
They'll simply weigh you up against whatever it is they need from a relationship - intellectual stimulation, fidelity, independence, humor - and they won't waste time dating you if they don't see a future together. It sounds harsh, but Rationals rarely lose their objectivity among the heady rush of chemistry and hormones. While Rationals are hot on quality control, they know that people are fallible.
They don't place unrealistic expectations on people and they don't expect their partners to be perfect. Their preference is for macro over micro, theory over details, and for the big picture over the specifics.
As long as you check the major boxes, a Rational really won't care or at least will tolerate that you turn up half an hour late or leave your dirty clothes on the floor.
Unlike Idealists who often take up the romantic task of seeking the "love of their life," Rationals understand that no one has one true love, and that compromise goes a long way towards making a relationship work. To an NT personality, the good stuff will always outweigh the little frustrations here and there.
Sep 24, 7 Ridiculous Dating 'Rules' To Ditch. Kristen Droesch. Contributor. Love. September 24, Who came up with these anyway? Some dating rules are worth following, and some are just common sense. 8 Ridiculous Rules About Dating a Rational 06 November / By Jayne Thompson. Categories: Personalities in Love, INTJ, INTP, ENTP, ENTJ. Rationals are one of the four Keirsey temperament groups, comprising the personality types ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP and INTP. These temperaments share the qualities of being abstract thinkers who approach. May 01, 11 Ridiculous Etiquette Rules from Victorian Times. You won't believe what you weren't allowed to do before noon. By Katie Robinson. May 1, Courtesy of Masterpiece.
That's the logical way to approach relationship decisions. It's what a Rational does. At the end of the day, once we have found a worthy partner, we will move forward with confidence and gusto.
You just need to get our attention, stay interesting, tolerate our ineptitude with feelings and voila!
But most importantly, knowing the rules helped one show respect for everyone else, including servants, acquaintances, nobility and clergy. But such rules could go too far. It was evident to many even then - social critics of the time popularly mocked the more ridiculous elements of Victorian society. Nov 17, It also probably won't shock you to hear that the etiquette rules relating to dating (uh, I mean "courtship") were downright ridiculous. But honestly, adhering to etiquette rules . Oct 08, Last month, a bride's "rules and regulations" for her upcoming wedding shocked users, including stipulations such as "kindly refrain from upstaging the bride on her big day - oh.
You've bagged yourself an NT! Jayne is a freelance copywriter, business writer and the blog editor here at Truity. One part word nerd, two parts skeptic, she helps clients discover the amazing power of words on a page. Find Jayne at White Rose Copywriting. Your communications have enriched me. I have considered setting up a blog or website to put kernals of importanr, to me, observations about society,public affairs, liberty and faith and their intesection. This really is a precious article.
I can't agree more on what you're saying.
What excellent ridiculous dating rules sorry, that has
Thank you. I am grateful for your illuminating article. I'm sure it wasn't even meant to be taken with a grain of salt. But why would anyone want to bag such a smug douchebag?
I can see how that seems kinda smug and douchey especially 3 and 4but it doesn't have to apply that way. Rationals want to have a real, organic relationship, not one made from society's cookie-cutter assembly line. While they wish they did, rationals have no idea how to flirt and will drive themselves crazy trying to figure it out. Because of this, they feel cornered when expected to flirt or flirt back. With a little comical overstatement For a Rational, intimacy involves sharing and exploring thoughts and ideas, so if the only type of conversation they can have with their most intimate partner is futile and empty i.
Coke vs. Pepsi or Ohio State vs.
Mar 30, 17 Ridiculous Dating Etiquette Rules from the s Editors of Reminisce ated: Mar. 30, Here's a look back at some dos and don'ts that show why spending a . 10 Ridiculous Victorian Etiquette Rules. by Jane McGrath. Prev NEXT. 7. Calling Card Etiquette. A proper Victorian woman would leave calling cards with her friends when she planned a visit. She typically wouldn't struggle to get out of the carriage to drop them off herself, however. 17 Ridiculous Dating Etiquette Rules from the s Editors of Reminisce Here's a look back at some dos and don'ts that show why spending a Saturday night with your sweetheart during the '50s.
U of M sorry lola Rational will feel as though their partner either rejects or cannot access what they feel is the richest and most important part of them. Personal note: A Rational probably does not need their partner to carry and lead the conversation or even have any sort of mastery of the topics though that may be a plus.
It is generally enough just to be willing to listen, think, reply, and follow their line of reasoning while adding questions and thoughts of your own to enrich the flow of thought it is even better if genuine interest is taken in the topics. I knew a woman who had little familiarity with any of the topics she and I discussed, but her interest and willingness to follow the line of thought and contribute with observations and thoughts of her own was incredibly attractive.
For similar reasons as Number 2, Rationals are not comfortable with expression of feelings.
Often this discomfort may come from inarticulateness or from the feeling that direct statements or displays of affection from them would be trite and gaudy, so a Rational will either avoid the topic or attempt to convey their feelings subtly to protect them from insipid vapidity. In order to deal with this tendency, a partner would either have to have "thick skins and tremendous self control" in order to need much less affectionate expression, be able to interpret subtle hints, or depending on the individual help the Rational to feel comfortable making simple expressions of affection and assure them that these expressions are appreciated.
Note: even after this last option, expression may still come less often than from other personality types merely out of preoccupation. They will also likely desire to enact these ideas or engage in an environment where the Rational's abilities can be used to bring about meaningful results. A Rational does not mean to reject their partner, but merely desires to have an individual identity as well.
Similar to Number 1 Rationals naturally focus on concepts, ideas, and principles rather than societal norms, expectations, and the passage of time.
This can make them very absent-minded and forgetful of events and practices that most people consider to be important.
Ridiculous dating rules
A Rational may also forget that particular days are special to others - either because they become absorbed in their thoughts or because, in their conceptual perception, particular days as concepts have no emotional quotient assigned to them based upon their placement upon the Gregorian calendar.
I, for instance, frequently forget my own birthday if not reminded, and do not consider it especially important for others to remember it. It is also possible that a Rational may simply overthink these events, and so for reasons similar to Number 4 avoid or neglect it consciously or subconsciously. Rationals want their relationships to work not be dysfunctional and want to make them as good as is practically possible. They reason that this is the right thing to do for both parties of the relationship, as both will suffer from either a dysfunctional relationship or from a painful breakup after an emotional investment.
The Rational does not wish them ill, but merely determines that this relationship is not what either one of them needs. While rationals are hard on ideas, they are tolerant on people.
They will bludgeon an idea to death trying to get it just right, but do not expect perfection from people, and are willing to accept people's quirks and faults. Keep in mind this is only MY take on it. I may be wrong, and other Rationals will have their own interpretations.
Also note that the way that these personality types manifest will vary depending on many influences including environment, ideology, religion, philosophy, and education. This fits me to a T! Thanks for you interpretations. I am starting to feel more comfortable with my ENTJ personality especially when it comes to dating and taking it with a little bit of humour and cutting myself some slack for not being able to be all lovey-dovey :D definitely helps!
Not a douchebag? Just different. It's not like we don't appreciate our partners, we just do it in a less obvious way. Doesn't mean other ways are wrong.
DATING RULES FOR 2020 (7 RED FLAGS)
Smartypants - seriously, if you don't get it, it's because you're not going to be good enough for us.