One of the biggest sources of contention within a marriage is a lack of communication. Sometimes the lack of communication is due to someone hiding something, but most often it comes from couples just never talking about the topic openly and thoroughly before they get married. We looked online for some topics to discuss, but quickly we realized that there was not a good list anywhere, especially for Latter-day Saints. So, we decided to create our own list! And because her mother does marriage counseling, we partnered with her to create this list of 16 topics every Latter-day Saint should discuss before they get married. These 16 topics are the topics that cause the most contention within a marriage when there is miscommunication. The questions under each topic are meant to be used as a springboard to discuss the topic and to help realize both subconscious and conscious expectations.
Money can make or break a marriage. According to studies one of the main reasons couples divorce is because of finances.
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One spouse is a tight budgeter, while the other one spends money freely - sound familiar? So, it is important that you discuss this topic with your partner before you get married. Sit down and talk about how you handle money vs. Also, discuss how you will handle finances once married. It is common for married couples to put their finances together in one joint bank account, so this is a really big deal.
A joint bank account means you both have access to it, and can deposit or withdraw money from it at any time. Moreover, once married, most creditors will not separate you from your spouse, when it comes to bills.
Still, it is a topic that definitely needs to be addressed in-depth before marriage. These are extremely important topics that should be discussed, in detail, before getting married and before having children. The worst thing you or your partner can do is pretend that you want kids or may want kids in the future, knowing you have no intention of starting a family with your spouse.
Pretending is one of the most heartless, selfish, and inconsiderate thing you can do to the person you say you love. For many couples this is a deal breaker that can rapidly lead to divorce. The truth is if you and your partner have conflicting views on having kids, you probably should not get married. If you definitely wants kids, but your partner is unsure, then what?
If they are, then you can look forward to having a family together. So, talk about this subject before you get married, and be honest and open with one another. You and your partner must be on the same page or it will cause issues in your marriage.
A topic every couple should discuss before getting married is family involvement. When it comes to in-laws, it is imperative that you always have a united front. Once married, never contradict your spouse in front of your family, and especially not in front of your parents.
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And, they will be more likely to treat your spouse with respect and kindness. On the other hand, if you continuously complain to your parents about what your spouse did or did not do, they will probably end up not liking your spouse, which could cause problems in your marriage.
A good test?
What to Talk About on a Date
Sex is an important part of any relationship, but especially marriage. Some couples shy away from talking about intimacy, and specifically sex. Maybe, it is because sex is often linked to vulnerability or emotional attachment. Or, maybe, it is because of past sexual experiences or societal expectations.
Regardless of the reason, it is a topic that every couple should talk about before getting married.
Why the difference? You just may not have the time for a long sexual experience. The good news is, there are couples and marriage counselors, who can help you in this area. Counseling may also be especially beneficial, if you have been married a while, and feel as if you are sexually disconnected from your spouse. So, a relationship expert is a good resource, if you start to have issues in the bedroom later on.
However, once married, it is essential that you make time to sexually re-connect with your spouse from time-to-time. As I read through this, I realize my answers have changed dramatically over the years.
Somewhere in all this questioning, I hope we teach young people that they and their spouse will change as time goes on, and a huge part of this commitment is realizing that you must continue to work and grow together as you grow up and change. All things must be discussed, thoroughly.
Also, please realize that a porn addiction and viewing porn are very different. Great article, Jeremy!
Topics to discuss before dating
I am passing it on to my son and his girlfriend. Husband, wife, both? What about time alone or with other friends, how much is too much? Do you do them together, or does one person do what they like by themselves? Who gets to run the TV remote? Do you keep the same bedtime schedule? If one person works, does the other person still help with housework? Who does the main jobs such as cooking and dishes?
What happens if the main breadwinner loses their job? Do they get a menial job or just take unemployment, or both? Does the other spouse take on a job, or another job stay-at-home spouse vs.
Topics Every Couple Should Discuss Before Marriage. Studies suggest that couples, who adopt a "happily-ever-after," "Cinderella and Prince Charming," and "all we need is love" mentality have the highest risk of having an unsuccessful marriage. Why? Well, because it's unrealistic and can cause both partners to set unrealistic expectations of what marriage should be like. Find the most important topics to discuss before marriage. Including these questions in your conversation will help you both better understand the life after marriage. Talking with your partner is fundamental to getting an understanding. There may be times when you do not feel like it, but you must do it for the sake of [ ].
Keep their own names? The main cause of unhappiness is having unmet expectations. Discussing expectations ahead of time can prevent this.
Expected lifestyle is a very important topic. The stay-at-home mother who wants a brand new car every three to five years is going to have a problem with the man who wants to buy a used car and keep it running for 10 to 15 years.
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The person who thinks a cheap motel is good enough will conflict with the person who wants luxury accommodations. Future savings is a topic needs to be discussed.
My ex thought any money in savings was me stiffing her shopping habit, causing endless conflict. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Like this: Like Loading Thank you for posting! Love this and kept thinking of others below as I went.
If you do well, you can reap the fruits marriage has to offer. If you decide to talk honestly with your partner, you may both discover a number of ways to grow together and stay together throughout this long journey.
One of the questions and topics to discuss before marriage is about having children. Having children causes disturbance in marriage. Everyone knows that having children is a wonderful part of life, but at the same time it is very difficult in a marriage. It is possible that, even if you are living the best of marriages, you suffer from a period of tension.
Take your time and strive to enjoy the time you spend together. Being in a relationship never means you should put an end to your personal space. This is an important thing you should talk with your partner before marriage.
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Both should discuss the boundaries and never cross the line. Having some time with friends or anything that gives you joy will better help you to deal with your marriage. Well you both need to definitely discuss this topic before marriage. The reason is to know how you will manage to run the house.
Keep things flowing smoothly with examples of dating conversation questions, answers to spark interest, and romantic dating conversation topics to talk about. Author: Gabrielle Applebury. 10 Important Subjects to Discuss Before Getting Married, by Debra Fileta - Christian Marriage advice and help. Find biblical, helpful Christian resources relating to marriage at middleburyfloralvt.com! Oct 11, You might even be looking for classic dating questions you should ask before getting in a relationship. And you wouldn't be the only one - according to a Elite Daily study of
Whether you both will work or one will take care of the house and other will work. It depends on couple to couple on how they want their marriage. Also, you must talk about the lifestyle after marriage. Can your combined money will be able to handle this lifestyle.
So, you must never overlook this topic in conversation before getting married. Sexuality in the couple is a vital way to show love and appreciate each other. It is about learning to give and receive in a loving way and not a way to gain power, security or validation. If the connection is based on feelings, then sex will decrease less during marriage.
Jan 31, 16 Topics Every Latter-day Saint Couple Should Discuss Before They Get Married. One of the biggest sources of contention within a marriage is a lack of communication. Sometimes the lack of communication is due to someone hiding something, but most often it comes from couples just never talking about the topic openly and thoroughly before they. Jun 03, Deep Conversation Topics for Dating Couples Although you probably should not use these deep conversation starters for a first date, they work well to find out more about a person. The answers can reveal some hidden facts and lead to a deeper relationship. Apr 04, Shani Jay Bestselling Author and Empowerment Coach. Shani holds a mirror to your soul, so you can see how beautiful you already are. She is the founder of She Rose Revolution, a bestselling author, empowerment leader, and an internationally published writer. Her words have reached and touched millions, while her books have made their way into the hands and hearts of thousands of .
Over time it will change and this is normal. Remember to talk to your partner and be open with respect to what you feel and want. Marriage does not survive without communication. Talking with your partner will allow you to enjoy a successful marriage. Repressed secrets and emotions only cause pain and result in the destruction of the relationship. Expose your feelings and emotions to your partner constructively. This will make both of you happier. Thus, the tensions in your marriage will be eliminated and honesty will remain afloat.